Stalling

The plan was simple, take a few days off work around the birthday and holiday weekend to focus on some new pieces for a consignment job. Looked forward to the plan for months. Things did not go according to plan. In fact I'd have to say the plan got derailed completely. Which may not be a bad thing.

Things happen, plans change, we adapt. But in adapting to the changes a few thoughts came up. I wound up not doing what was planned, an unexpected bonus was that I got to spend time with a friend I normally don't get to see very often. But now I was very off schedule. The scary thing was that I didn't want to get back on schedule.

Does not wanting to get back on schedule mean I'm losing some of my passion for these crafty obsessions of mine? Or are they just temporarily on hold till I sort out all the things clamoring for attention in my house. I still spend a lot of time looking up new ideas, new techniques but I'm not spending as much time doing. I tell myself its a time thing. I'm tired when I come home from work and I don't want to be in the torch when both brain dead and physically tired let alone train like I should. Yet if these are truly important to me wouldn't I want to be working at them no matter how tired?

Some of it I'm sure goes back to my blank canvas phobia, sometimes the hardest part of a project is starting one. Especially when you have high expectations of it. I have all sorts of idea for this consignment job, I want to make some custom pieces just for their shop, something exclusive. Yet why haven't I started to? It all comes down to because it just doesn't feel right. The space isn't right, I'm not right, and the pieces aren't right.

So now this vacation isn't about focusing on a particular schedule but rather me allowing myself to take care of all the distractions that have been keeping me from doing. In a way that might be more important to the over all goal of sustainable creation. I've always counted on little burst of creativity when I needed it. How nice would it be to access that as a constant stream instead of small bursts?

So in the end maybe it was a good thing my vacation got derailed and I'm not just stalling on starting a new project. Once the distraction are taken care of the space will feel better, once the space feels better creating will feel better. So in the end it will all work out, according to plan.